Sometimes I will drive around in circles, aware that I have been in the exact same spot moments earlier, but uncertain of how I ended up back in the same spot or how to get away from that spot and to the desired spot.
And sometimes when I go places, everything just looks the same. I know I haven't been there before and that it is in fact a new location, but it just seems so familiar.
I'm at a fork in the road - so to speak - again. Trying to figure out which path to take. I don't really think there is a wrong choice, but for some reason, choosing is immensely challenging and at times overwhelming. I want to keep busy. I want to make people happy. And I want to invite change - to inspire a seemingly stagnant and apathetic generation.
I graduated college almost three years ago. I still haven't found a career and don't know what I want to "do" in the job sector. Except, maybe go back to school. But then if I go back to school, what exactly will I pursue? Is there training for a change-seeker?
I have to confess that it is extremely comforting to talk with an accomplished individual in an established career who still has no idea what it is they want to do... or where to find meaning in life. Even though it appears they are where they wanted to go. They took all the right turns and stopped at all the stop signs (I tend to ignore those with white rims, they're optional, right?) and made it into the nice parking lot where they were greeted by the friendly, soothing words "you have reached your destination" (I'm more familiar with the agitating "you are going the wrong direction, turn around" - and I'm often wishing that floating cloud from Mario carts will come and pick me up and point me in the right direction...).
I suppose no matter where we are in life, there will always be a yearning for something else. And no matter how well mapped out the directions are, we're bound to get a little lost along the way. And no matter how many times we circle that choice, we will still ponder as to how we got to that place to begin with. So, do we just sit back and enjoy the ride?
Have you ever ridden with me?
...just saying.
My goodness, I wonder if these things get passed along with the genes and the name? LOL Sounds like me many moons ago--well the career part does. The getting lost while driving, alas, has not changed, although I always do manage to eventually find my way to where I'm going. It just takes a whole lot longer.
ReplyDeleteI often knock myself for all the wrong choices I feel I've made along the path of life, but now that I'm getting ancient and look back, I see how one thing has led to another that would not have been possible without the earlier event first occurring.
More and more I see how the Lord truly is in control and if He allows something it's for a purpose down the road. With our limited vision we fail to see the plan, because all that's visible is one little piece of the puzzle at a time. Only the Lord sees the whole picture, which I suppose is a good thing, because maybe if we knew ahead of time all that we were going to go through to get to where He ultimately wants us to be, it might be overwhelming.
...just saying too.